Viral Happiness

I have a personal story from my past that I want to share with you about my mid-life crisis, but I need to teach this important lesson first.

Are you happy? Are you successful? Are you moving toward the kind of life you want to live?

Where you are right now is ultimately the result of your choices.

We are often tempted to claim that life treats us poorly…throws us curves…complicates or hurts us in some way. But that’s not real; it’s fantasy. It’s the script we have in our heads. It’s the way we cope with failure and challenges.

But it’s not real.

Life seldom does anything to anyone. Instead, life presents us with choices – constant choices. And how we choose determines the quality of our experience.

If we are faced with a great challenge such as illness or calamity, how we choose to feel about it and what we choose to do about it dramatically determines our quality of life.

Choosing is everything.

We are constantly faced with choices that are so subtle and automatic, they don’t seem like choices at all. When this occurs, we call our choice a ‘reaction.’ But we never simply ‘react.’ We always get to choose.

Say that over and over until you accept it as truth: “We always get to choose…we always get to choose…we always get to choose.”

There are, of course, choices that we recognize and understand. I choose waffles for breakfast. I choose to turn left at an intersection. I choose to read a book instead of watch TV.

But there are less obvious choices that have a constant impact on life. I choose to get angry. I choose to feel hurt by someone. I choose to succumb to frustration.

These less obvious, subtle choices determine our quality of life, our level of success, and the depth and breadth of our relationships.

Consider this example: your spouse or close associate treats you poorly and your immediate inclination is to be angry, bitter, and hurt.

But do you have to feel like that? Is that your only choice? Is that the quality choice of the real you?

You may claim that their actions caused you reaction. But there is always a moment, even if it is fast and fleeting, when you make the decision to be reactive or proactive. When you are reactive, you defend your poor choice by saying, “Well, he made me so angry!”  When you are proactive, you know in your heart that you choose a calm, loving response because it is the best thing for the genuine you.

You have to decide that your life is worth the effort to live by concepts and not situations. You must determine the kind of person you want to be and be that person.

Who is the genuine you? You must make your choices with that ‘genuine you’ in mind.

Do you want to be more loving? Then make decisions that are congruent with love, and you will be.

Do you want to positively persevere through every challenge? Then make decisions that are congruent with your personal principle of never quitting, of always pushing through no matter what, and you will persevere in every situation.

Do you want to be healthy and fit? Then choose principles of proper rest, nutrition, and activity, and make choices that jive with those principles.

Simply put, you determine who you want to be, and then you live like that person.

Do you want to be loving?
Then choose to be loving.

Do you want to be peaceful?
Then choose to be peaceful.

Do you want to be happy?
Then choose to be happy.

Make your decisions based on your personal life principles of love, peace, and happiness.

Don’t misunderstand. Making the right choice is not always easy. It is simple, but it’s not easy. If it was easy, we would all make the right choices all of the time. And I confess that I have not always made the right choices.

I have been between the  mountain and the abyss, and I have chosen the abyss. I’m not proud to admit this, but I have chosen anger and hurt and depression. I have felt the allure of negativity, and I have succumbed. If I could not identify with that type of pain, I would not be able to honestly tell you how to find the better way.

But that is a part of my midlife crisis story that I referenced at the beginning of this post. And I will tell you that story in my next post. My life has not been perfect, and you need to know  that.

This lesson about choosing will make even more sense when you read the next post.

Until then, make choices that are congruent with who you really are.

I have a natural inclination to downplay my own success. It’s a trait leftover from my childhood, when I was taught not to brag. So, I tend to soften my successes.

But that won’t do you any good.

You need to know about my success. You need to know how I achieve it. You need to find the success clues and apply them in your own situation.

The time for downplaying success is over, because, if I am not successful, you need to move on and read someone else. If I haven’t figured out some basic principles for my own life, you don’t need my influence and teaching. If I am not willing to  stand up and say, “I’m more than just a nice guy; I’ve figured out some things that can help you live better,” then I’m not really worth your time. That’s simply the way it is.

You and I are not here to brag, that’s true. But we are here to learn, improve, and accomplish. Because, we can learn plenty of theory, but if the learning doesn’t lead to accomplishment, what good is that knowledge?

Consider these questions:

Why are you reading this blog?

Why do you read other blogs, articles and books?

What do you want to do with this information?

Even though we pursue information, we are not really after information as an end. We are after a better life. We are longing for more love, more money, more freedom, more fulfillment. We are longing for that elusive something that makes us say, “Ahhhh, here it is at last! Now, I have arrived!”

We are looking for  SUCCESS.

We long to live a successful life.

And that’s what I intend to discuss in my next few blog posts.

As we discuss success, please keep these three truths in mind:
1. SUCCESS leaves clues.
2. SUCCESS can be recreated.
3. SUCCESS occurs one success at a time.

If you think you’ve heard this all before…if you think you know what I’m going to share…you may be right. But you need to ask yourself one very important question: “Am I on a path to success?”

If you’re not, then pay attention. You either need knowledge, application, or action. And, over my next few blog posts, I intend to discuss all three.

But be forewarned -  the key is action!

And I’m not talking about taking action by buying something from me. I haven’t refined this information into a product yet. I’m not trying to sell you anything.

If you read these posts, you’ll be getting the real, raw, off-the-cuff deal. I’m teaching on the fly, strictly by the seat of my pants.

But the key for you is the willingness to take fearless action.

You’ve got to be willing to get up and do something. If you’re not willing, stop right now. Don’t read any further. You are wasting your time.

That may sound a little harsh coming from me. If you’ve read much of my teaching, you know that I am very open and loving. Love is the reason I do what I do.

But it’s time for a little tough love. If I really love you (which I do), I can’t be satisfied if you are living beneath your potential. It’s like the message of my favorite Mary Chapin Carpenter song,

“Why Walk When You Can Fly?”

Click on that link and listen to the words. Resolve that you are ready to fly. Refuse to  settle for less.

And be on the lookout for my next post.