Today, an acquaintance mentioned my weight loss and asked, “How did you do it?”

“I did it the old fashioned way,” I said.

“The old fashioned way?” she asked.

“Yep,” I said. “I changed the way I was eating, and I started exercising everyday.”

And while that’s true, I realized this afternoon that it’s not the whole truth.

I was looking through my stack of life-changing index cards. These are cards that I review on a regular basis. I have drawn stick figures on these cards with captions picturing goals that I want to attain.

I got this idea from my friend Pat Hicks. Pat has used this particular practice, plus other practices that he learned from Matt Furey, to become the premier provider of high end reclaimed hardwood floors in Texas. It seems so simple, but it works.

And today, as I was flipping through my cards, one in particular jumped out at me. It showed a very buff looking stick figure with a weight and blood pressure goal as the caption. I had not really thought about the role this particular card has played in my success until today.

When I started using this card, I weighed over 230 lbs. Today I weigh 200 lbs, and my blood pressure is significantly lower. I am well over half way to the weight goal as stated on the card, and I know I will get there.

Here’s my point. You have probably read lots of personal development methods for changing your life. You have probably tried many of these methods, and, sadly enough, you have probably stopped using them before you reached your goal.

The trick is to stay with something until it works. You can’t fail if you don’t quit. If a goal is worth setting, it’s worth doing whatever it takes to change your thinking enough to make it happen.

That’s what the cards do. They help you become your focus. Or as Phil Linklater posted in his response to my last blog entry, “You become what you think about – the most.”

The change is as quick as a thought, but it may need to really sink in deep for you to believe it. That’s what the cards do for me.

So, the next time someone asks me how I’ve lost weight, I’ll explain once again  that I’ve changed my eating and exercise regime.  But I’ll also have to tell them about that simple little index card and how it helped me change my thinking.

And when you change your thinking, you can change anything.

What you think is what you are. Change your life right now by changing your thinking. You can change anything at the speed of thought.

It was not premeditated; it just occurred. But now, I feel it lifting.

I believe in doing what feels right. I believe that you should do what you want to do.

I want to blog because I have things to tell you – things that will help you live the positive life you want to live.

And this is what I want to tell you in this post: your circumstances don’t matter as much as your thoughts and feelings.

I will expand this line of thought in subsequent posts, but for now, mull this over. Circumstances don’t matter.

So don’t fret over circumstances. Instead, focus on developing positive thoughts and positive feelings.

Don’t wait until you finish school or get a new job or lose 10 lbs.

Do it now.

Don’t live life vicariously through empty images on TV or the internet or magazines. Live life yourself, full-out, right now.

Why be absorbed by fantasy words and deeds of fantasy people?

Engage real people. Love them. Let them love you.

Engage ideas. Give yourself the gift of deep thought. Hold a thought through it’s completion.

Concentrate more on specifics and less on generalities.

Respect your own ideas. Respect your own beliefs. Don’t look to others to provide your thoughts and your beliefs.

Trust yourself to make choices.

There is power in choosing.

And we always get to choose.

Don’t wait.

Don’t hesitate.

Engage.

Do it now.

Do you know what you love to do?

That’s something I still consider…what do I really love to do?

I know I love people. I love to try and help people figure out the best approaches to their problems. I love to read and learn. I love to reflect and ruminate. I love to write. I love to dream.

But, that one big thing still escapes me.

There are lots of  writers and bloggers in personal development who would never admit that they still wonder about what they love to do. But I tend to identify more with my readers than I do with those “gurus.” I’m not too proud to admit that I still have questions. I’m still searching and learning.

I still haven’t found exactly what I’m looking for.

Neither the woman or the old man were at all impressed with the fact that he was a shepherd. They were solitary individuals who no longer believed in things, and didn’t understand that shepherds become attached to their sheep. He knew everything about each member of his flock: he knew which ones were lame, which one was to give birth two months from now, and which were the laziest. He knew how to shear them and how to slaughter them. If he ever decided to leave them, they would suffer…

…Here I am, between my flock and my treasure, the boy thought. He had to choose between something he had become accustomed to and something he wanted to have.

from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

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Change  is hard.

The anticipation of change – a new job, a new home, a new challenge – can be exciting. Dreaming about it and planning for it can be fun. But the actual act of making that change is difficult.

In The Alchemist, Santiago has to choose between “something he had grown accustomed to and something that he wanted to have.” And, in order to grow, we have to do the same.

We are always thwarted by apparent comfort. For instance, when we are in a job that we dislike, at least it is a known entity. We may dislike the boss or the pay or the monotony, but at least it is a boss and pay and monotony we know.

I once knew a banker who had grown weary with banking. He was still a young man, so I asked him why he didn’t go ahead and make a change. He said that he was caught in golden handcuffs. He was very comfortable with the money, the position, and the prestige, and these ‘golden’ aspects of the job kept him ‘handcuffed’ to a profession that brought him little personal fulfillment.

He was trading the possibility of passion for the certainty of comfort.

Please don’t misunderstand me. Being comfortable is not a bad thing. The fact is, once you step out and commit to pursuing your passion, you will find a place that is more ‘comfortable’ than you could have imagined. The problem comes when we trade the possibility of true fulfillment for the assurance of easy sameness.

Pursuing this passion takes effort, and that’s where most people fail. They long for change; they dream of change. But they never do anything to change.

What do you want to be, do, or have?

What can you do to move closer to a life of passion?

What is the thing you are here to do, that thing that Coelho calls “your personal legend?”

In your heart, you know what gets you excited. You know what it is that you were meant to do.

Find that thing and vow to take a few small steps each day in the direction of your dreams.

Like Santiago, dare to look away from your “flock” and to move toward your “treasure.”

It ended when I realized that I wasn’t being the me that I really am. It ended when I realized that the weak, worried, struggling soul that I had seemingly become was not really me. So I simply decided to assume my true identity.

I had been improving for months, but that moment of perfect clarity and change happened in an instant. I became who I really am, a person I had been before, although now, this version was improved – this version was wiser.

I’ll tell you exactly what happened to spur my decision to finally say…”No More!”

It happened because of a bill.

Some company sent me a bill that, at first, made me say, “Crap! Another bill to pay. When will I ever get through paying these bills.” But, even as I stood looking at the bill and lamenting my fate, there came another thought…the thought that changed me and brought me back to my true identity. And it started with one word.

“NO!”

I had finally had enough of my personal victimhood. I had had enough of feeling like a loser. I had had enough of embracing a personae that was foreign to my true nature. And that’s when I began to win at life again, the minute I said “No” to a way of being that was not serving me.

All it took was a real decision to “be” who I wanted to be. When you change your “being,” your thinking must follow. When you change your thinking and resolve to take action, those actions are now the actions of the real you. They are positive, strong, loving, success actions.

If you make the decision to be a positive, strong, loving, and successful person, then those same actions and attitudes must follow.

Think about it this way: what makes a person loving? Loving thoughts and loving actions. So the way to be a loving person is to think and act with love. If you decide that you are a loving person, that love is a part of your true identity, then it must affect the way you think and act.

This may sound like circular reasoning, but it is the only way I know that works. Decide who you really are and then think and act in a way that is consistent with the kind of person you long to be and then you are that person.

That’s why I can boldly claim (as I did in my last blog post) that you are already the person you long to be because, if you long to be a certain way, that is proof that that is the real you. And the way you release the real you is to act and think in a way that is consistent with the real you.

If you want lasting change, the last few paragraphs are worth rereading and also worth your thoughtful contemplation.

If you need further insight, leave a comment or send an email, and I will  get back in touch with you.

Once I made the decision (and I will blog about decisions soon…you haven’t really made one if you don’t take action) to be who I really am, things began to change for me. Business improved and continues to improve. I ran for office and won. I feel more like myself than I ever have before.

I am convinced that when you make a conscious committed decision to take your proper place in the Universe, you flip a cosmic switch and your life begins to immediately change for the better.Consider this quote from Johann Wolfgang van Goethe.

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back– Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.

It’s time for you to cast of any hesitancy, weakness, and fear.

It’s time for you to make a committed decision to be who you really are.

Are you happy? Are you successful? Are you moving toward the kind of life you want to live?

Where you are right now is ultimately the result of your choices.

We are often tempted to claim that life treats us poorly…throws us curves…complicates or hurts us in some way. But that’s not real; it’s fantasy. It’s the script we have in our heads. It’s the way we cope with failure and challenges.

But it’s not real.

Life seldom does anything to anyone. Instead, life presents us with choices – constant choices. And how we choose determines the quality of our experience.

If we are faced with a great challenge such as illness or calamity, how we choose to feel about it and what we choose to do about it dramatically determines our quality of life.

Choosing is everything.

We are constantly faced with choices that are so subtle and automatic, they don’t seem like choices at all. When this occurs, we call our choice a ‘reaction.’ But we never simply ‘react.’ We always get to choose.

Say that over and over until you accept it as truth: “We always get to choose…we always get to choose…we always get to choose.”

There are, of course, choices that we recognize and understand. I choose waffles for breakfast. I choose to turn left at an intersection. I choose to read a book instead of watch TV.

But there are less obvious choices that have a constant impact on life. I choose to get angry. I choose to feel hurt by someone. I choose to succumb to frustration.

These less obvious, subtle choices determine our quality of life, our level of success, and the depth and breadth of our relationships.

Consider this example: your spouse or close associate treats you poorly and your immediate inclination is to be angry, bitter, and hurt.

But do you have to feel like that? Is that your only choice? Is that the quality choice of the real you?

You may claim that their actions caused you reaction. But there is always a moment, even if it is fast and fleeting, when you make the decision to be reactive or proactive. When you are reactive, you defend your poor choice by saying, “Well, he made me so angry!”  When you are proactive, you know in your heart that you choose a calm, loving response because it is the best thing for the genuine you.

You have to decide that your life is worth the effort to live by concepts and not situations. You must determine the kind of person you want to be and be that person.

Who is the genuine you? You must make your choices with that ‘genuine you’ in mind.

Do you want to be more loving? Then make decisions that are congruent with love, and you will be.

Do you want to positively persevere through every challenge? Then make decisions that are congruent with your personal principle of never quitting, of always pushing through no matter what, and you will persevere in every situation.

Do you want to be healthy and fit? Then choose principles of proper rest, nutrition, and activity, and make choices that jive with those principles.

Simply put, you determine who you want to be, and then you live like that person.

Do you want to be loving?
Then choose to be loving.

Do you want to be peaceful?
Then choose to be peaceful.

Do you want to be happy?
Then choose to be happy.

Make your decisions based on your personal life principles of love, peace, and happiness.

Don’t misunderstand. Making the right choice is not always easy. It is simple, but it’s not easy. If it was easy, we would all make the right choices all of the time. And I confess that I have not always made the right choices.

I have been between the  mountain and the abyss, and I have chosen the abyss. I’m not proud to admit this, but I have chosen anger and hurt and depression. I have felt the allure of negativity, and I have succumbed. If I could not identify with that type of pain, I would not be able to honestly tell you how to find the better way.

But that is a part of my midlife crisis story that I referenced at the beginning of this post. And I will tell you that story in my next post. My life has not been perfect, and you need to know  that.

This lesson about choosing will make even more sense when you read the next post.

Until then, make choices that are congruent with who you really are.

That’s it. That’s what everything else is about. The desire for love, the pursuit of abundance, the search for meaning. It’s all about peace of mind.

You have a gnawing feeling in your gut that there is more to life than you are experiencing. You think you need…well you’re not really sure…but you think it may be more money or love or some intangible something that you can’t quite realize.

But you know it’s out there, somewhere.

In truth, it’s not out there at all. It’s inside and more than inside.

It’s not just in you, it is you.

Take a moment right now to relax. Sit back, release the tension in your shoulders and concentrate on your breathing. Take deep, rythmic breaths. Inhale and exhale on purpose, not just as an afterthought.

Disengage your mind chatter. Release thoughts of the past and future, even the immediate past and future. Don’t consider what just happened or what may happen in  the next moment. There is no next moment. All we have is this moment. Focus on living in the now.

As chattering thoughts intrude, let them float through your thinking like clouds drifting across a deep blue sky. Don’t fret over them, just allow them to be.

Allow everything to be. Don’t engage in mind battles, mentally fighting people or situations and engaging in worry after worry, always wishing that this would change or that would change. Just allow it all to be, like a stream flowing past your feet. Just let it all drift by, without being swept up.

Know that in this present moment you are fine. If you are sick, know that the sickness is not in the real you. The you that is the real you is strong and eternal. If you are concerned about money or relationships, know that you can exchange this emotion of worry for peace of mind in this present moment.

Which is stronger: worry or peace? Which is proactive? Which is pleasant?

Refuse to think that you will acquire peace once all of the pieces fall into place. That’s not the way it works. Instead, it works like this:

Acquire peace, and then all of the pieces fall into place.

It begins with choosing the belief that this universe is a friendly place. Believe that God is not out to get you or play some kind of cosmic trick on you. Believe that God wants you to live an abundant life and to trust…simply trust.

Expect to prosper. Expect to excel. Expect to manifest.

You need action and a willingness to do, but that’s not as important as what takes place in your thinking. It all begins in your thoughts.

It all begins in choosing peace of mind in every present moment.

Be blessed!

Buz

P.S. These observations are part of what came out of my 28 Day Transformation Experiment. I promise to share more when my local election is over. The election is on May 5th (approximately one week away). There are a total of four people in my race, and I need over 50% of the vote to win without a runoff. So I’m asking anyone who might offer thoughts and prayers on my behalf to concentrate on me getting 50% plus. Fifty percent plus one vote will win it outright, but I would love a mandate, so fifty percent plus 100 votes (in this small community) would be huge. My local political pundits believe I will win, but they also think there will probably be a runoff. I would love for us to surprise them all!

Now, it has grown into a daily practice.

And this practice is changing everything.

You may remember that I designed a ‘thinking sabbatical’ back in December to coincide with my 28 Day Transformation Experiment. It was all about transformation and manifestation, and the ‘thinking sabbatical’ aspect came about through a simple inner urge. The universe sang and I got up to dance.

I think I’m on to something big because everything has changed. My life has gone from ‘very good’ to ‘great,’ and I am enjoying more of the things we so often ‘work’ to get: more peace, more abundance, more passion, more zest, more joy, more happiness, more patience, more manifestation.

And it all started because I was willing to take carve out a specific time to simply be quiet and think. Now, my thinking sabbatical is an everyday habit. It is a joy to me.

I’m continuing to polish the process, and I will share it with you in the near future. First I have to get through my election in May (please see previous posts), and then I intend for my online life to get back to normal.

But, until I have the opportunity to share my process with you properly, why not start cultivating the habit now? Just take a few minutes to relax and breathe; quieten your mind and think. Just see what comes up.

Do you have specific questions?

If so, post them below or feel free to send an email to buz@viralhappiness.com.