It’s funny what gets to you sometimes.
I had just moved my family into a smaller home. My son’s girlfriend was visiting, and we were going to sit and watch TV. I had sold our sofa and could not afford to replace it. I had a couple of matching old armless easy chairs pushed together so it would seem kind of like a sofa. There was one more (very uncomfortable) chair in the room. When we gathered in the den and she innocently asked, “Where do we all sit?” – I felt an empty pit in my stomach.
We didn’t have enough places to sit because I was a failure.
That was a few years ago, but it still hurts to remember.
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I’ve been putting off publishing this post.
I’ve written and rewritten it for three weeks, wondering exactly what to share with you.
Recalling this part of my story is difficult. But it’s an important part of my personal development, and, if you ever have to deal with some of these same issues, this information may help.
So, even though I’m somewhat hesitant to spill my guts, here goes…
Approximately six years ago, I had what I now lovingly call my mid-life crisis.
And, as I consider it now, I find that this ‘crisis’ boils down to two issues… actually these issues are opposite sides of the same coin: abundance and lack.
And it’s not just about money. This is much more involved than money…even though money plays a part.
But it is definitely about more than just my economic condition because I’ve learned that our perspective of either abundance or lack colors everything in our experience. Every challenge is an exercise in what we seem to lack.
My mid-life challenge was no different.
This type of challenge can be sneaky, because, even as the crisis was occurring, I was fervently studying self development. So, if you are pursuing your own self development, and if you continue to be confronted by difficult challenges, trust me, you are not alone.
I had to downsize a retail business that had grown steadily for years. I had assumed that it would continue to grow and expand, but it began to slow and contract. This was not only devastating to my bottom line; it was also devastating to my sense of self-worth.
At the risk of sounding sexist, men are often judged by how well they provide for their families, and my provision began to falter.
As I was being forced to downsize my business, I also sold our family home of 15 years and moved to a smaller house. The economic pressure was substantial, and I was navigating foreign waters.
I had to borrow money. I had to confront difficult situations. I had to continue going through the motions.
During that time, it seemed that my days consisted of shifting from crisis to crisis, and, for a while, there was very little relief. There never seemed to be enough…enough money, enough opportunity, enough time.
I felt stuck.
And that’s where the true sense of lack occurs. When you feel as though you face a dearth of choices – when you decide that you simply have no choice, that’s when you find yourself drowning in a deep perspective of lack. It’s acutely painful.
Have you ever felt trapped like that?
Have you ever felt like there is no good choice available to you?
Have you ever felt defeated?
If you have, you’ve come to the right place, because that is exactly how I felt.
I simply did not know what to do next. And that. for me, was the crux of the crisis.
But one day, everything changed.
It changed because I finally remembered a simple technique that I had used in the past when I faced other challenges. It’s the same technique I used when my doctor suggested that I might be suffering from depression (I relate that story fully in Mastering Your Power of Release).
It’s the ONLY tool I know of that works every time, and I’m not sure why I allowed myself to get to a very low point before I used it in this situation. Maybe I had not thought about using it during my crisis because it just seems so darned simple. And when I share it with you now, you may be tempted to say, “Wait a minute…that’s it?”
But I promise, if you will master this technique, you will be on your way to conquering any challenge quickly and easily.
I simply changed my thinking.
That’s the most concise way of putting it. I changed my thoughts. I refused to entertain any thoughts of defeat. I began thinking winning thoughts. I recaptured success in my mind.
And it worked.
I believe that’s enough to share at this time. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but admitting my shortcomings in such a public forum has not been easy for me. I’m a private person, and I share this part of my story now in hopes that something I say may be of help to you.
In my next blog entry, which will be posted much quicker than this one was, I will tell you exactly how I did it, and exactly how that change in my thinking eventually led to my thinking sabbatical and to my 28 day transformation experiment and how this all ties in to my recent election victory and my business turnaround.
That’s a lot to relate, and it may take a couple of posts to get it all in. But this is good stuff. And, if you need some success suggestions in your own life, this may help you.
And, hey, it’s free information. All you have to do is come by and read it and see if it somehow relates to your own experience.
If it does relate, great! If it doesn’t relate, all it’s cost you is a little time.
I’ll offer my next entry very soon.
