Why do we find it so hard to trust?
Recently, I sent an email offering assistance with anything that might be a problem or issue for my readers. I genuinely wanted to know what they were facing. I wanted to know what I could do to help them.
There were no strings attached, and I tried to make this fact very clear. I wasn’t selling anything; I just wanted to help.
Before I sent the email, I wondered how many of my subscribers would take me up on the offer. It occurred to me that some people would just automatically ignore my email. I’ve found that lots of people sign-up for email updates and then ignore them.
But now I’m wondering how many people chose to ignore it because they were skeptical about my sincerity.
One of the people who did respond told me honestly that their first reaction was to wonder, “What does he want from me?” In other words, what’s his angle?
At first, that reaction surprised me. At least, it surprised me until I mulled it over for a little while. And as I sat and pondered, this thought popped into my mind: if one of my ‘gurus’ had sent an email with the same offer, I might have had the same skeptical reaction.
And I really can’t explain why.
I’m associated with lots of honest, helpful, and sincere people. As a matter of fact, I’d say that the vast majority of the teachers and experts I know put service first. So why am I skeptical?
More importantly, what breakthroughs might I miss because of my skepticism? That, my friend, is a valid question.
There are people on my list who missed out on some free help because they were skeptical of my offer. Now I’m forced to wonder what help I may miss out on because of my own skepticism. That is a GREAT and unexpected lesson. One that I intend to take to heart.
So, what do you think? I really want to know.
What makes us so skeptical?
{ 6 comments }
Hi Buz,
The first answer that popped into my mind was this – if someone has never been “burned” before, they are likely not going to be skeptical. I think it is in our nature to trust. But after we have been burned, that bubble has been burst. And that’s the entry point for skepticism to begin to set in.
But even the most skeptical will eventually come around when something is genuine. So I think it’s our job to stay true to course. And to trust!
Blessings Buz, and thank you for a thought provoking post!!!
Todd
I remember getting your offer to help in any way you could.
I honestly thought your offer was very sweet, and I appreciated it.
Yet, I need so much help, I didn’t know where to begin!! Lol!!
So I wasn’t skeptical, per se, just overwelmed as to know where to begin, and then you’d be in over your head!!!
But all is well, the good, bad and the ugly–It’s all good!!
Blessings and Happy Thanksgiving.
Buz,
I think in some ways we have become de-sensitized to expecting and/or experiencing offers of help from a stranger — or even a person who is not an immediate family member or true friend (versus someone who is simply an acquaintance).
In days long past, neighborhoods would bind together and help their own, so to speak. If you were a resident of a town, or a neighborhood within a large city, then, you were helped by those around you. If someone’s car broke down, people knew that person by seeing them daily — a close proximity and familiarity to their day to day life. So they would not think twice about kneeling down and applying a tire iron to remove the flat. Nowadays, with the exploding population and influx of hundreds of thousands of “strangers” moving in and out of larger cities and nuclear families being spread far and wide — we would be fearful of that Good Samaritan hitting us over the head with the same tire iron and making off with the funds in our wallet. It is a different world today — sadly suspicion is the first reaction, rather than grateful appreciation.
Buz,
I think that all messages come to people when they’re ready to hear them. I’m not known as a skeptic. Occasionally my life gets so busy that I skim my emails and only address the ones that immediately grab me. This morning, for instance, you sent an email about when inspiration attacks. I clicked on it and then it let me to this blog. When life gets busy, I don’t always have time to follow the trail like I did this morning.
I face many challenges in my world these days. However, I face them with an attitude of gratitude for the lessons they bring me. And an absolute faith that I will get where I’m supposed to. It’s outside my realm of experience to ask anyone for help, let alone a stranger. But I trust that there’s a reason I found this blog today and there’s a reason I felt compelled to respond to it.
Thank you for all the insights you’ve gifted me with over the time I’ve been reading your blog. I love you for your perspective on the challenges we face in life.
Oh! And the general population is skeptical because they just don’t have faith. They are prone to living in fear and distrust because it seems safer than taking a chance.
I do try not to be skeptical. I think, especially for those of us on line constantly, people learn to be aware — first impulse is “be careful”.
Perhaps first impulse should be “check it out”.
I will work on that in 2009.